Men Are Just Happier People—
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays it’s original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

While this is fun, the reality is that many men today face the daily feeling of depression and sadness.

Depression is a reality and is not something we should just sweep under the carpet or something we should just ignore as not a problem.

For many men the heartbreak happens on a weekly basis when they get their paycheck knowing that what they are bringing in may not be enough to provide for their family. It happens when he sees friends who have supposedly fulfilled their dreams while his died many years ago. It happens when he gets more respect from the people he works with than from his wife and kids. It happens when the stress at work is so overwhelming that to even talk about it hurts like a sharp pain. It happens everyday and in so many ways.

I think over the years we in the church have done a good job of ignoring some of these very real emotions. I believe it is time to stand up and have real conversations about those real emotions.

We are told in the commercials that depression hurts, but Cymbalta can help. I tell you that depression can be a killer of your mind, soul and dreams, but the church can help; and must help!

Let’s stand up and allow people to have real conversations!

Margin is not just taking a time out, nor is it just having a day off each week. Margin is far more productive and more intentional than that.

From Wednesdays post we discovered that margin is creating time to plan, mend and reflect. This is time set aside to be intentional about making sure our lives are on tract.

Margin to each of us will look different. For some it will be taking 30 minutes at the beginning of the week to plan the next seven days. For others it will be to journal each day. Others will put different parts of their lives in a box and do not mix their boxes. Only you can know how to create margin in your life because we are all unique and each of us process the events of our lives in different ways.

The last month has been a period without margin for me. In all honesty I just scheduled too much stuff. Appointments ran into each other and I found myself dropping balls that I should not have to drop. The reason I lacked margin was because I didn’t plan my schedule. Sounds simple doesn’t it, but instead of sitting back and spending a few hours going through my schedule I just went from one appointment or engagement to the other.

This is where I just have total admiration for Jesus. What didn’t help Him was the fact that He had so much compassion for others that He wanted to help everyone who came His way. Yet he realized his margin was to go alone and spend time in prayer with the father. Even though the needs of people pressed heavy on Him, even though He was pulled in all directions and there wasn’t enough time on His hands, He still made margin time a priority. Jesus realized that with a time of prayer, all His other time would be productive and effective, without that time he would not have the energy or anointing to tackle life head on.

What do you need to do this week to start to create margin? I’m sure each of us could take a lesson out of the life of Jesus. Rest and prayer would work a treat, I guarantee it!

We would measure a couple of inches at the top and bottom to the left of the paper and draw a straight line down. The teacher would tell us that margins are important. There were two reasons we drew a margin. The first was to make sure everything was neatly in a straight line (that was about the only thing that was neat on my paper, my writing was and still is horrible!); the second was to be able to make notes or correct mistakes in the margin. These days we have computers to correct our mistakes, but back then we had to correct them in the margin.

As important as margins were back in elementary school, so personal margins are important in our lives today. So often we just tackle life head on without preparing for what we are going to be doing. Drawing a margin took no more than a minute, but it enabled the paper to be neat and also supplied a place to correct mistakes.

It only takes a short amount of time to create personal margin, yet it can create order in our lives and also a place to reflect and correct our mistakes. So often people forget to create healthy personal margin and their lives become cluttered and the different aspects of their lives start to run into each other.

I have found if I don’t create margin between the different parts of my life I start to stress, I start to let people down, I start to get overwhelmed, I start to break promises, I start to forget things and I start to go from problem to problem.

Basically margin is creating space in your life to plan, think, mend, enjoy and take a break from all the things that full our lives. Jesus was a man who created margin. Just ask the disciples who often found Jesus missing. He was not neglecting them, just drawing margins in His life so that when He was needed He was able to be fully engaged.

Try to create some margin in your life this week. I know your spouse, your kids, your friends, your employees and your peers will appreciate it.

These are the times I find I start to doubt myself and even become a little stressed. That is why I value margin sio much.

One of the things I learned early in my work life was priorities. Some things are just plainly more important than others. Over the past two weeks I have had to prioritize. Last week for example I know my blog had to take a backseat. I love to blog and I feel it is an important aspect of my life, but last week there were things of more importance that took priority. This week is pretty much the same.

I value healthy margin, and just sometimes you need to take a break from somethings in order to create margin. On Wednesday and Friday I’ll be blogging about how that margin is so important in everyone of us. Even Jesus created margin, he realized prayer was a priority and even though healing the masses was important it wasn’t as important as prayer. He often fled the masses to create margin between his public life and prayer life.

I’m learning the margin lesson, I hope this weeks insight will help you.

 I use to dream of the days the clock would speed up. The days at school would seem like an eternity. The shopping trips with my mother would take the best years of my life and Sunday school would seem like one hour stretched over five.

 These days things are a little different. The days really do speed up. Not because the clock is any faster, but I now realize that as a child life was simple and easy. As an adult they are complicated, busy and far from easy.

 I looked at my schedule this past week, for the next couple of months I realized I’m slammed! Now I like a busy schedule, it keeps me active and focused. However, I know I get stressed most when I have no room to breath. Last week was once of those times. I started stressing because time was going to fast and I had missed personal deadlines I had set myself. I also got frustrated over something that I kept hitting a dead end.

 It was at this point I heard one of those some gentle voices that can only be crazy voices in my head, or God. I elected for God! The voice said, ‘why are you stressing, enjoy the ride. This life is a journey of discovery, enjoy discovering’. Well all I can say is I was reminded that life is to be enjoyed and so often we can take that enjoyment away by our own agenda.

 So instead of wishing that the clock would speed up, or that the calendar would slow down, I’m trying to enjoy life one minute at a time. Not matter how rough or smooth it may be, it is a privilege to have life, and I believe it was a man named Jesus who once said that he has come that we may have life and this life to the full. We can never have a full life unless we enjoy the journey we are all taking.

 Look around you today and enjoy all life has to truly offer.

When I mean quality time I do not mean just an afternoon or a few hours, I mean an extended amount of time just fully focused on those loved ones?

This weekend my wife and I devoted our weekend to quality time with each other. We spent the whole weekend together totally unaffected by outside influences. Many times we can say we spend quality time, but other things such as TV, Phones, agendas and schedules can stop the time being quality.

On Saturday we got up, went to the beach (our phones had no signal!), ate dinner together that evening and spent four hours in the car, just us talking. Then Sunday we got up, went to church then just had fun walking around some stores before finishing the weekend watching a movie together,

Doesn’t sound like much, but it really was quality time. You see we weren’t pre-occupied by our schedule. We weren’t constrained by time, we didn’t have to rush to get anywhere and we didn’t have other things getting in our way.

Sometimes you need weekends like this. Your loved ones need your undivided attention. They don’t need a couple of hours of your time; they need to know from time to time that they are the most important thing for them. They aren’t an appointment in your schedule and they aren’t competing for your attention from other influences. Whether it is your kids, your spouse, your friends or your family, sometimes all they need is just you and only you!

So really ask yourself, when was the last time I spent quality time with my loved ones? For some of you it has been a long time! If so, rip up that schedule and just do it! Your loved ones need YOU more than your schedule.

The first two goals I set myself for 2009 were more for professional development. The next two goals I set myself for 2009 were for personal growth and development. So here they are:

Goal 3: To lose 20 pounds of weight!

I remember looking at myself in the mirror at the end of 2008 and realizing I was 20 pounds overweight. Not only was I overweight but I realized that I had some minor health issues due to some excess poundage. Also I did not have the energy necessary to be fully productive in my life and I had some clothes in my wardrobe that were leaning towards the XL sign on the label!

My wife, Raquel and I decided this was going to be the year we got healthy. We first started out by watching our calorie in take. Then we made veggies, salads and fish a regular part of our diet, then we made an investment that changed our lives! No it wasn’t the ‘Total Gym’ but something even better! We bought a Wii Fit! Yes, you heard me, a Wii Fit! This little baby worked just the trick. I was 193 pounds back in January and before this Christmas season I was 160 pounds!

As a result I discovered energy I thought was never possible. I found losing weight had a tremendous impact on your spiritual life (a whole new meaning to being a temple of the Holy Spirit), I did not get very sick and I was able to look at myself in the mirror again without a look of disgust!

Goal 4: To follow-up on Facebook, Twitter and Email better

This one is still a work in progress. I have never been a great, ‘follow upper!’ However, I believe I am better today than I was one year ago. The reason for this was a little more intentionality on taking time each day to make sure I replied to messages and emails. Even though I still have a long way to go! After the Wii Fit the second best investment I made this year was the purchase of a new ‘super’ phone. I had a PDA phone before but this new phone allowed me to do everything I could do in the office at my finger tips! I still have a long way to go, but with the gift of technology I am improving.

Tomorrow, I will write about the final goal I set myself for 2009. This is a goal that seemed a far off dream, but has become a reality as I have watched as God has opened some impossible doors!

As I began to evaluate my life I realized that God was leading me to start to walk the path he prepared me to walk before I was ever created, it was time to walk into my God-given destiny. The only problem was that I was unsure of which path to take. I knew God wanted me to go on a journey of discovery and there were certain areas of my life which needed more focus if I was to successfully walk on this path of destiny.

In January 2009 for the first time in my life I decided to set myself goals. These weren’t resolutions, but goals for the year that would either prepare me to walk into this God-given destiny or help me actually start walking it.

I set five goals that I knew I had to be intentional about which would help align my life to be ready to live a life of purpose and significance. Four of these goals were areas of my life I recognized were areas of weakness or neglect. The fifth goal was one of those strange thoughts that I couldn’t get out of my head but never thought it would be a realistic goal. However, I am here today in the last week of 2009 having attained all the goals I set one year ago. I am setting myself five goals for 2010, these goals are going to be a little different from my 2009 goals, but I believe they will help me live out the life God planned and designed for me to live. I’ll share these goals next year, but as I look back on the most interesting, difficult and also fulfilling year of my life I want to share with you my 2009 goals.

Over the next three days I am going to blog what these goals were and how I managed to attain them. Some of them were easier than others, but I know as a result of keeping these goals in my focus throughout 2009 I enter into 2010 a much more equipped, prepared and fulfilled person than the one who said goodbye to 2008!

What goals did you set in 2009? Did you fulfill them? Are you setting goals for 2010?

I know when I have been pushing it too hard. I know when it is time to spend a day to re-energize. The first sign that my batteries are running low is when I can’t get a good nights rest!

I am one of those persons you people with insomnia hate! As soon as my head touches the pillow I am gone. I do not move nor wake until it is time to get up! I can sleep through noise or trials. There isn’t much in this world that causes me to lose sleep. However, there is one thing; a lack of energy! It may seem strange that when you don’t have energy you don’t sleep. Well I can’t really explain it but I toss and turn and wake up more tired than when I went to bed. Then I find myself losing patience and everything seems to bother me.

It is at times like this I know I need to re-energize! Jesus, on many occasions took time out to re-energize. He often went off on his own into the hills and prayed. He also spent times when he went off to take a nap! Jesus knew when he needed to re-focus and get his energy levels back.

If the God of this universe knew that, and needed that, then how much more do we need to know it and need to do it.

When I re-energize I seem and look to be very lazy. I wake up late, spend a little time worshipping God with my ‘incredible’ singing voice and then just veg! I’ll watch a movie, eat lots of fruit, drink lots of tea and nap! On the days I know I need to re-energize I’ll sometimes take two or three naps in the day. This is just way may I find to restore my energy.

It actually is the things I don’t do that helps me re-focus and re-energize. I don’t play golf, I don’t read, I don’t socialize or hang out with friends, I don’t facebook or twitter and I don’t go out of the house. These are all things I love to do, and if I have the chance I’ll jump at it. However, these are all things that take my energy away instead of restoring my energy.

Last night I didn’t sleep well and today I don’t have too much drive or patience. I think it’s time tomorrow to take a ‘re-energizer’ day! After all Sunday is a huge day for me! There’s a little thing call our Fantasy Football Draft going on! Oh! Also Sunday is the biggest day in the week for a Pastor! Must not forget that!

What are some of the things you do to re-energize?

The reason I did this was because I have had a couple of intense weeks that have drained me! I realized over the last couple of weeks I have been breaking a commandment of God that had left me tired and worn out! This commandment was to, ‘Keep the Sabbath Holy!’ Growing up I always thought the Sabbath meant going to church, not doing much physical activity, not going shopping and things like that. As I study the bible more and more I realize we have a totally wrong view of the Sabbath. The Sabbath means a period of rest from your labors! Meaning it should be a day set apart where you are not connected to your work life! The more I study this command of God the more I realize God made this day a commandment because us humans find it very hard to rest.

God knew working seven days a week was impossible for us to handle. Even though we may think it is strong and hard working to work seven twelves, in God’s eyes it shows a lack of wisdom. At times we think we can push our bodies, but God knows different. He even went a step further to say, this day shall be kept ‘holy’ (Exodus 20:10), meaning you shall set this day apart above any other.

We need our sabbath. I have heard a lot of people lately say, ‘the sabbath was given for man, not man for the sabbath’. This is so true! We need a day to recharge. It is important, no matter how busy we are to set aside one day out of seven to rest, recharge and step away from what consumes us for the other six days of the week.

As this day is a day to recharge, it is just as important to do things on this day that recharge you! The batteries in your remote may have died, but just taking them out of the remote and giving them ‘rest’ from the remote is no good to the battery or the remote. The battery needs to spend a couple of hours in the charger!

What is your charger? Mine will look very different to yours. This weekend I took my sabbath, I recharged and felt good. The hard thing will be to follow the commandment to do it again in another five days!

Let me know of ways you take a sabbath. What are some of the activites you do to recharge?