Category Archives: Marriage

Quality instead of Quantity

When was the last time you spent quality time with the ones you love?

When I mean quality time I do not mean just an afternoon or a few hours, I mean an extended amount of time just fully focused on those loved ones?

This weekend my wife and I devoted our weekend to quality time with each other. We spent the whole weekend together totally unaffected by outside influences. Many times we can say we spend quality time, but other things such as TV, Phones, agendas and schedules can stop the time being quality.

On Saturday we got up, went to the beach (our phones had no signal!), ate dinner together that evening and spent four hours in the car, just us talking. Then Sunday we got up, went to church then just had fun walking around some stores before finishing the weekend watching a movie together,

Doesn’t sound like much, but it really was quality time. You see we weren’t pre-occupied by our schedule. We weren’t constrained by time, we didn’t have to rush to get anywhere and we didn’t have other things getting in our way.

Sometimes you need weekends like this. Your loved ones need your undivided attention. They don’t need a couple of hours of your time; they need to know from time to time that they are the most important thing for them. They aren’t an appointment in your schedule and they aren’t competing for your attention from other influences. Whether it is your kids, your spouse, your friends or your family, sometimes all they need is just you and only you!

So really ask yourself, when was the last time I spent quality time with my loved ones? For some of you it has been a long time! If so, rip up that schedule and just do it! Your loved ones need YOU more than your schedule.


Do You Need To Send God A Text?

Do you have a constant prayer life? You know the type of prayer life where you pray at the same time in the same place everyday?

 If your like the majority of Christians then the answer is probably no! There are those of you who are well-disciplined and are very consistent each and everyday. However, if even you do have a constant prayer life, do you have a constant dialogue with God, or is it normally just a one way conversation?

 I say this because for so many we have been told since we were kids that you must have a consistent time everyday dedicated to pray! The problem is, even though we know this, and have been told this so many times, most of us have a hard time doing it!

 This is something I have personally struggled with for many years. In fact I use to beat myself up about it; that was until I started to read the scriptures. It’s amazing how we take what we are told sometimes as gospel, without sometimes referring to the gospel! What I discovered was that we weren’t supposed to have a dedicated time everyday but that we were suppose to pray all the time! Paul said to pray without ceasing! Now that seemed totally out of the realm of possibility! When you dig a little deeper into what the bible teaches about prayer you discover that prayer really is as easy as 1, 2, and 3!

 The longer I spend time with my wife the more delightful it is to partake in conversation with her. The easier conversation flows and the less uncomfortable it becomes when there is no conversation. Just being with each is more than enough. When verbal communication is required things are spoken. When body language is the communicator, it is read and when touch speaks, it is heard. This is actually the way we communication with God. It’s not just us talking for an hour or so, it is a constant journey of companionship and during that journey there will be times of talking, times of listening, times of touch and times without any communication at all.

 So I’ve discovered that the way I communicate with my wife is a healthy way to communicate with the God of this universe, so those times I can’t verbalize I will write and those times I am in a hurry I can say a quick I love you, and those times when there is too much noise I will text and also those times when no words are required I will just touch, think and be there right by God’s side!


I Love You!

The first time I told my wife I loved her was in a card. We dated long distance for 15 months and so phone calls and cards were our version of romantic dinners and movie nights.

I remember the day she received the card. I was in my best friends car riding shot-gun with two of my others friends in the back and we were going out on a Saturday night. My phone rang and it was Raquel. She was so excited to speak with me and thrilled over the card she had just received. She told me she had received the card and said she felt the same way to. I must admit at this time I’m feeling pretty good about myself and thinking what a stud I was! Then Raquel asked me to do something I will never forget! She asked me to repeat to her what was in the card. I questioned why and said replied by saying ‘I would like to hear it not just read it’.

Now think about this. I was a 24-year-old cool funky dude (well that’s what I thought at the time) and I’m with my boys! A cool funky dude does not say things like ‘I love you’ in public especially in front of his friends. Raquel would not take no for an answer. She was playing me, knowing exactly the situation I was in. She said, ‘if you really loved me you wouldn’t care what your friends thought’. That was the blow that caused the words to stumble out of my mouth.

As soon as I said it, my best friend turned to my other friends and said, ‘did he just say what I thought he said?’. Well I finished my phone conversation with Raquel and lets just say, my friends didn’t let me get away with it!

This weekend is Valentine’s and millions will be saying those famous three words to someone else, but I find myself asking the question, what does it really mean? For some it means a life partner, for others security, for others a lifelong dream and still others they are just cheap words said in the moment.

However, since that first time I said those words to Raquel I have grown to understand their real meaning. I can honestly say that I love Raquel Penduck, but it was another man’s love that showed the real definition of what love is all about. In John 15:13 we are told that the very best way to love is to put your life on the line for someone else. This is exactly what Jesus did for Raquel. He put his life on the line so that she could have life.

So I ask myself two questions:

1. Would I put my life on the line for Raquel?

2. Would I return the favor and put my life on the line for God?

I’ve thought long and hard about this and my answers are yes and yes! Some may question this, but that is why love is a mystery, it’s totally unexplainable and my love for Raquel and my love for my savior is totally unexplainable yet totally real and totally authentic.

Have a great Valentine’s everyone, I pray that you will find the true meaning of love throughout this season of romance!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 495 other followers