Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is an Associate Pastor at a church that had seen a steady increase in growth but has now plateaued and is starting to see a decline. This conversation basically centered around their frustration at the way things were going and what was not being done to stop the decline.

The basic premise of my friends frustrations were based on things that didn’t bother him six months ago, but now were tearing him apart. He was on a totally different page than his Senior Pastor and was started to feel de-motivation and a lack of energy set in because he was on a totally different page than his Senior Pastor. We talked for a while but I ended up advising him that he must talk with his Senior Pastor about these frustrations as soon as possible because if he holds it to himself bitterness will set in. I told him that bitterness must be avoided at all costs and even if his Senior Pastor did not relieve his frustrations after their conversation, he must just submit to his leader and not worry himself with the things that are frustrating him, but instead focus his energy on things he is motivated about.

I was quick to tell him this because I have experienced bitterness in my own life, both bitterness in my heart and someone else with bitterness towards me. I am not a bitter person, in fact I think I’m pretty chill and forgiving. However, everyone is vulnerable to bitterness and when bitterness sets in it spreads and kills just like a cancer. Bitterness destroys friendships, marriages, careers, lives and churches. It is the silent killer that we sometimes let in our lives unawares.

Instead of becoming bitter it is better to just bite your lip, stop thinking about how someone else has treated you and move on. I would rather someone else walk all over me, taking whatever I possess so that bitterness does not creep into my heart. It was King David who wrote in one of his Psalms, ‘create in me a clean heart and renew a contrite spirit within me’. I believe this was a prayer for God to guard his heart from bitterness.

There are many ways we can become bitter, but only one end. That is destruction, that is hate. Today guard your heart, watch your mind, do not your tongue speak as it desires and above all do not let the smallest drop of bitterness enter your heart.

If you are feeling frustrated by someone or something; if you have been hurt by someone; if you have been passed over; if you have been left on the trash heap; if you have been treated like a dirty dog; if you have been forced to do something you didn’t want to do; if you are disillusioned; if you have pain, do not let those feelings and emotions get hold of you. Pray David’s prayer, get away from that person, think positively, start to realize that when people persecute you it is Christ they are really persecuting and above all avoid bitterness at all costs!