This weekend there were two words on everyone’s lips in Maryland, “Cabin Fever”.
30 inches of snow caused most sane people to be bunker’d down in their home for the entire weekend. Food, movies, books, x-Box and more food were the routine for 2 days. This normally sounds fun but when you get bored of these activities it becomes a little weird. The walls start closing in and an incredible urge to get out the house comes over you.
For most cabin fever only lasts a few days in the physical. However, I believe for many they are suffering from cabin fever of the soul. Many are stuck in a rut and they are longing to break free. They try one thing after another but get bored or unfulfilled. This type of cabin fever doesn’t take place in a house or cabin, but in the building of life. They search the house of life to find something that will take away that imprisoned feeling, but end up unsuccessful.
Well, there is an answer, his name is Jesus. John 8:36 tells us, ‘if the son sets you free you will be free indeed’. In other words, when you follow Jesus, he opens the door and invites you to be free of the four walls surrounding you. He invites your soul to go on an adventure of a lifetime and cabin fever becomes a thing of the past.
So last night after three hours of digging my car out of the snow I broke free of cabin fever. It felt great, but nothing like the feeling of setting your soul free!
Today a major snow storm is suppose to pass through the Mid-Atlantic region of the USA. This storm is likely to produce over 20 inches of snow. Now I don’t know about you but 20 inches is 20 inches more than I would like to see!
One of the women in our office called during her lunch break and said, ‘don’t go to Kliens (Kliens is a supermarket) on your lunch, everyone is here and it is insane!’. Everyone was in the supermarket stocking up on their food and supplies in case they are stuck for a few days in the house. I have a dislike for the supermarket on days like this, but it does remind me of how important it is to know what some of the future forecast will be.
Imagine if we didn’t have the weather forecast? Many of us would be totally unprepared for the day ahead. I believe a vision is a little like a forecast. The bible tells us in Proverbs 29:18, ‘where there is no vision, the people perish‘. Another way of saying this is when people can’t see what God is doing and going to do they stumble all over the place. If there was no weather forecast, this weekend there would be many people out and about stumbling all over the place. People would be unprepared!
Why is it then that must know the weather forecast, but when it comes to the vision of a church some people believe it is not ’spiritual’ to know a direction we should head in. Many church leaders refuse to commit to a vision because they don’t want to be wrong about what they believe God is going to do. Well how often is the weatherman wrong? Yet you still listen to him or her! That is because you know how essential that piece of information is. A church without a vision is like someone walking outside in shorts and a T-Shirt totally unaware of the winter storm that is pending.
A vision helps us to prepare, to plan, to pray, to stock up, to face uncertainty, to forgive, to repent, to have fun, to make wise decisions and many more.
I’m wondering what would happen if our churches were able to clearly express a vision of God like the weatherman can communicate the forecast. I bet our communities would be just insane with a buzz of activity and life-change like a supermarket is insane the day before 20 inches of snow!
This has now officially been the worst winter I have ever experienced as a human being. Officially!
I’m from a country that gets a whole lot of rain, so the amounts of snow the winter of 2009/10 has already generated is way beyond anything I have experienced before, and I live in Maryland. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live in up-state New York! No thank you!
This past Saturday it was snowing again and as I sat in my living room watching the snow falling outside I started to think how incredible it was that not one of those snow flakes were identical. Again last night I was out in the snow with all these millions of snow flakes falling around me and the thought came to my mind again. Either this is a wonder of science or we have a truly incredible God who is so unique and creative that he has so many patterns and plans that if it snowed for eternity there still would not one snow flake alike.
If God takes that much trouble forming every snow flake how much more care did he take when he formed you? In Psalm 139:14 we are told that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We were formed, created and made in a wonderful incredible way. Not only that, but God created us with a purpose in mind. He created us for greatness and his plan for us is mind-blowing. The unique thing about God is that when he formed and created you he made you in such a way that no-one else on this planet could fulfill that purpose he designed you for except you.
I don’t know how you are feeling today, but know this one thing. God created you for a purpose. That means he created you to be an individual who was unlike any other person who has ever lived. You are the only person who can fulfill what God planned for your life.
What is the purpose that God created you for?
It has always amazed me how the disciples in the bible responded to Jesus. He said to them, ‘follow me’, so they did. Most of them leaving their jobs, their homes and their families. Either Jesus was a great salesman or these guys were looking for the right opportunity to make a career move!
I’ll be honest, if some carpenter came up to me and said to drop everything you have planned for the rest of your life, quit your job and then come on the road with me I’d be it little cautious.
However, when you think about many of their jobs, they weren’t really high-end career jobs. That is except Matthew. The likes of Peter, John, Matthew and James could drop their job and if things didn’t work out they could slip right back into it. Not Matthew. He was a tax collector and if you left the union, there was no way back. Imagine how Matthew must have felt when Jesus said follow me? Matthew knew it meant sacrificing his whole life, everything he had worked towards, everything he had hoped for and now he was to turn his back on the only people who excepted him for who he was, the other Tax Collectors. This guy gave up everything for the hope of a life of purpose.
Early last year I sat in my office at the church I was on staff at during that time and I heard that little voice inside me that said, ‘follow me’. I had heard that voice before, when I was sixteen and knew God was calling me into ministry. I heard that voice when it was time to go to college and the voice directed me to a secular university not a bible college. I heard that voice before when I knew I was meant to move to America and then again when my wife and I moved to Maryland. However, this time the voice directed me from the life I knew and had always hoped for.
Back in my teens and early twenties I believed that the only way I was going to fulfill my calling of God was to work at a church. Many years later I was doing just that. I had a big office and directed lots of ministries. I was on the road to my calling, when God said ‘follow me’. This time it was a direction that to many looked like a backwards step. A step back into the world of business, back into the unknown and back into the life outside of a church building. I didn’t bite at the opportunity like Matthew, no I did the spiritual thing, I prayed about it. Isn’t it funny how when God talks we pray about it, but when the devil talks we act upon it?
So here I am today, having listened and followed that voice, and I’ll be honest, it was the best decision I could have ever made in my life. God has just shown up like never before. I just pray that I can have an impact on this world like that man Matthew had. Like Matthew I have lost friends because of that decision. Some people now even despise me! I’m not sure why, maybe because for once in my life I chose to listen to God instead of other people.
I challenge you to think about what you would give up? Think of the thing in your life that is most precious to you, now imagine if God said give it up and come follow me. Would you?
This week I am blogging about five ways you can make a marriage work. Today is part-five of this five-part post. You can read Part 1; Part 2: Part 3 & Part 4 here.
So here’s part five:
5. Live Life Together
This one may sound a little weird, but one thing I have noticed more and more is that so many married couples start to treat each other like room mates not mate mates! You’ve seen them. The wife goes shopping (trying not to be stereotypical but I’m failing!) with her mother, then goes to Starbucks with her girlfriends while the husband plays softball for the third time that week. He goes home and gets on his X-Box and stays there for the rest of the night chatting with other husbands online while playing Call of Duty. The wife comes home and goes straight into the bathroom to get ready for the girls movie night. All this and it is only a Tuesday!
Maybe a little extreme, but the point is that many married couples find themselves in trouble because they don’t live life together. They have different friends, different hobbies and in all honesty, different lives. If you want to have a long happy marriage you have to be intentional about spending and making more time for your spouse than any other interest in your life.
This doesn’t mean you should withdraw from your friends, but it does mean you should do things together and if your friends only want you without your spouse, then they really shouldn’t be your friends!
When it comes to hobbies, don’t let go of what you enjoy, but involve your spouse in it. If they can not stand your hobby, then find a hobby you both like and make sure you spend plenty of time doing that (still trying to get Raquel into those cute ladies golf outfits, just not working at the moment!).
The old saying goes, the couple that prays together stays together. I’ll take it a step further, the couple that plays together will also stay together.
So ask yourself this weekend. Am I spending more time with other people and activities than I am with my spouse? If so you may need to make a few schedule changes!
So a quick review of my five ways to make your marriage work:
- Believe in your spouse more than your spouse believes in themselves
- Put God first
- Put your spouse second, yourself third or later
- Engage in meaningful conversation
- Live life together
This week I am blogging about five ways you can make a marriage work. Today is part-four of this five-part post. You can read Part 1; Part 2 & Part 3 here.
So here’s part-four:
4. Actually Have A Conversation With Each Other
Before I got married I use to look at those couples in a restaurant who never said a word to each other and think how sad! I vowed I’d never do that! If I’m eating dinner with the women of my dreams, aka my wife, I would never just eat and not say anything!
Well, I must admit it was a vow I broke. We have been that couple on several occasions. It wasn’t that we didn’t have anything to say, it was just that the conversation sometimes got boring! Now before you think I have just offended my wife, let me explain. We dated long distance for 15 months. I was in England, Raquel in Missouri. We talked everyday for over an hour. We talked about everything, from likes and dislikes, to dreams and passions, to friends and family, we even answered questions a few times out of a book about relationships. When we got married we lived, worked and breathed together. Most of our conversation became about work (it was our life!). One day I realized when I got bored talking about work, I had nothing else to talk about. The days of long romantic conversations had turned into talking about work and church ministry.
The last nine months have been fantastic for our conversation life. We no longer work at the same place (we makes me sad some days), so long talks about work are off the agenda. We have now rediscovered real conversations once again and my love for my wife has grown beyond control in the process!
As I look around at many married couples, they have lost the art of conversation. They now talk about their kids, or their family or their finances, but they rarely delve into one of those meaningful conversations that stimulates their mind and their marriage. This past summer we spent most nights sitting on our deck with the TV off, the birds singing and the mosquitos biting. The conversation would flow and we felt we could sit there for hours.
So those times at dinner where we have nothing to say to each other I pray are a thing of the past. God created to converse. Converse with him and to converse with others. For a marriage to work you must stimulate meaningful conversations, not arguments, not brief exchanges about the kids, but real deep conversations. Trust me it will revolutionize your marriage.
So what you going to talk about over dinner tonight?
This week I am blogging about five ways you can make a marriage work. Today is part three of this five-part post. You can read Part 1 & Part 2 here.
So here’s part three:
3. Your Spouse Has To Be Second In Your Life
Following on from yesterday’s post, we discovered that for a marriage to be healthy and successful, God has to be first in their lives and in their marriage. After God comes your spouse! Not you, not your kids, not your career, not your dreams and aspirations, not your parents, not your friends, not football, not shopping, not your bank account, not anything. If your spouse is not second priority in your life your going to encounter a whole lot of problems.
Just think of the arguments married couples have. They all center around someone not thinking of their spouse first. Pastors are the worst at this in all honesty. They put church work ahead of their spouse so often that their marriage deteriorates so much that the ministry is all they have left in common!
In all the conversations I have had with people who have had marriage difficulties and even gone through divorce this has to be the most obvious reason there were any problems in the first place. Selfishness is a cruel and destructive thing. A marriage where one or two sides are selfish is a marriage that will never experience its potential.
Let’s be honest. We are all a little selfish. I’m selfish and your selfish. We often look out for number one. We think the world is against us and sometimes that includes our spouse. If you want your marriage to work this is something you have to address. When you wake up in the morning do you think about yourself or how you can serve your spouse? When you get home from a long hard day at work do you think about yourself or your spouse? When your favorite TV show is on, or your sports team are playing, are you asking yourself is this something that is putting my spouse as a priority in my life?
Pretty hard-core I know, but marriage is hard-core and one little ounce of selfishness can bring down even the best of marriages.
Romans 12:10, says to let love continue, and in honor prefer one another above yourself. So often we can do this with other people, but when it comes to our spouse our true nature comes out. The harsh reality of our selfishness surfaces because we are not putting on a front.
So today, whatever you are doing, take a moment to do something for your spouse that would take a little bit of sacrifice on your behalf. Show your spouse that they are your top priority in life, behind God of course!
This week I am blogging about five ways you can make a marriage work. Today is part two of this five-part post. You can read yesterday’s post here, Part 1. Let me just say that things such as love are a given! If there isn’t love then it’s obvious your marriage is not going to be as it should, but that is for a different post at a different time.
So here is part two:
2. God Has To Be First!
For some of you, you may say, ‘well that’s obvious!’. If you are saying that, I’d reply by saying, ‘yes it is, and no it isn’t’.
For someone who does not have a ‘relationship’ with God, the thought of putting God first is a little weird! For most Christians though they actually think they are putting God first, when in all truth, they are not.
Just think about some of the conversations that married couples have with each other.
- How shall we spend our pay check?
- How shall we teach, educate and bring up our kids?
- What kind of house shall we live in?
- Which set of parents shall we go to at Christmas?
- What shall we eat tonight?
- Should I take that promotion at work?
The list could go on and on. I have one question for you though. In those questions above do you put God first in all of them? If we and in we I include myself we would have to say no. I don’t ask God what I should eat tonight. Yet God promises that when we put him first in everything we do he will bless and take care of the rest. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek to put first the Kingdom of God and live a righteous life, then everything else in your will fall into place.
Too often we say we put God first because we go to church, we volunteer in the nursery at Church, we give tithes, we even may have family devotions at home. However, is God really first in your life and your marriage? Is there a sense of God’s presence in your home? When you argue, do you seek forgiveness and reconciliation over getting your own way? Do you make your decision or hear God’s opinions? Husbands do you love your wife as Christ loves the church? (In all honesty that is some tough task no matter how incredible our wives maybe). Wives do you really see your husband as a leader?
These are just some of the multitude of questions we should ask ourselves concerning if we put God first in your marriage.
When you do, you will be able to overcome anything. You will see what a beautiful thing a healthy marriage can be. So who you seeking first?
Recently I have seen so many people go through problems with their marriage. Most people dream of a happy marriage where they can grow old with the love of their lives. However, the reality is that for many the hopes and dreams of yesterday have turned into a nightmare.
As I have talked with those who are going through problems in their marriage it seems like the same problems occur time and again. There are many different outcomes, situations and problems, but the root cause always seems to be the same. So, this week I am going to blog about 5 ways you can keep a healthy strong vibrant marriage, and no, date night is not one of them!
For those who do not believe in the institution of marriage, these are not for you, but I must say you are missing out on the best thing you could ever experience. So here’s my first step to a great marriage:
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Believe in your spouse more than your spouse believes in their own self
Far too many people do not strive to achieve their dreams and aspirations because there is no-one to cheer us on. How many times have you heard someone make fun of their spouse when their spouse talks about their dreams in life. One wife might say, ‘I want to go back to school and become a fashion designer’, in response the husband may say, ‘no dear, that’s some far-fetched dream, the fashion industry is too competitive and your not a spring chicken anymore’. Really what the husband is saying is that he does not believe the wife has what is takes to make it in the fashion industry. How sad that the person who should be your biggest supporter is the one knocking you down.
Yes, there is always that element of reality and you must speak the truth, but far too often couples do not believe their spouse can really attain anymore than the place they are at in the present.
I believe I have a great marriage. This one of the things I see which we have that others who struggle don’t. We’re not perfect, but I have to honestly say that Raquel believes in me more than I believe in me. She sees things in me that I don’t even see. The feeling is mutual. If only she could see what I see in her. If she wanted to make a rocket to fly to the moon, I’d back her 100% because I know she could do it if she put her mind to it!
So today, ask yourself this one question, ‘Do I believe in my spouse more than they believe in their own self?‘ If the answer is no, start seeing what God sees in your spouse. An incredible person with the perfect personality and talents to accomplish what no-one else on this earth could accomplish, their God-given destiny!
So I have decided I will never buy a Mac over a PC!
What you may say? Are you crazy? Macs are the best! Anyone who’s worth anything gets a Mac! You don’t really appreciate technology unless you own a Mac!
Yeah, yeah, heard it all before. However, the reason I will never buy a Mac is not because they aren’t great computers, nor is it because they don’t have the best technology because they really do. The reason I will never buy a Mac is because of their attitude! I hate their commercials and I really dislike their constant ‘putting down’ of PC. Not that I’m a PC lover either, but it is just a matter of principle.
Why is it that a company like Mac focuses all of their advertising budget on another company? You know the commercials. The one where Mac is represented by the skinny cool guy and PC is represented by the over weight average middle-aged guy. If Mac was so good, why wouldn’t they tell us about how great their own product was? Why wouldn’t they tell us how much our lives would be better if we had a Mac? No, instead they spend millions of dollars bad mouthing their competitors.
For the same reason I will never buy a Verizon phone! I will never support Liverpool FC (that’s for all my British friends) and I will never vote for a political candidate that spreads negativity about their opponent.
I realize this is what business is all about. Knocking out your opponent so you can have an open road to consumer heaven, but I just don’t like it.
Maybe this is the same reason so many people have such a distaste for the church! Instead of spreading the word that through Christianity there is life, hope and destiny. We have spread the negativity of other Christians. Looked down on other churches and told people how much better so-called ‘Christians’ are than everyone else. If I was a spiritual consumer I wouldn’t want that, in fact it would actually put me off.
The Apostle Paul warned against this kind of thinking in Romans 12:3 when he said, “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”
Paul warned us that we are not better than anyone else, but we are just sinners saved by Grace. I’m a sinner, you’re a sinner! I’m just thankful for Grace.
So maybe one day I’ll buy a Mac, but their philosophy of marketing has to change. Maybe one day the true church will stand up and be completely transparent and recognize we are no better than anyone else, just blessed that we have experienced God’s Grace. Then, just maybe will we start to be effective in showing this world the life, hope and destiny there is through faith in Jesus Christ.
